Usually I don't like to talk about my personal life, especially my problems. Yet from time to time I post personal entries because my hope is that someone out there may benefit from reading about my experiences, perhaps because he or she struggles with similar ones. Empathizing with others has always helped me in my sorrows...so, I will share an entry I wrote awhile ago about loneliness, and a man who broke my heart:
Still, I see no sign of marriage in my future...and sometimes I feel tossed about, forgotten by the world like a spare part.
Why did he behave as if he liked me, giving me gifts, complimenting me, hugging me, asking me to draw for him, and so on? Why did he kindle a lonely soul's passion without the intention to stay in contact and be friends? He seemed to lose interest soon after I moved away, and I still feel hurt by that.
Maybe I was just one of the many pretty faces he encountered through the years.
Yet we had so much in common....We were both odd and misunderstood. He was the person I wanted to be with more than anyone else I have met, and I felt like we connected on a deep level...but maybe only I felt that way. Maybe many girls have felt that way; I can't look into his mind and know...and actions can be misleading. Maybe I misinterpreted everything.
Still, I wonder...does he remember me? Only God knows. How many girls has he made feel "special" by now? If I wasn't really special to him, are they?
No matter what his sins might be, I can only confess my own...and I forgive him for breaking my heart.
***
Recently there has been a remake of the song that always reminded me of him, which prompted this trip down memory lane:
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