Lately I have been so stressed and frantic that when I finally have free time, I don't even know what to do. Have I forgotten how to relax? This place is so crazy, and sometimes I am caught up in its pace.
Yet God's pace is never frantic, for He is patient and wise. May I live by God's pace instead of the world's pace. Even in this environment, I pray for peace.
Oh, I am so tired of reading academic research. At work, I read papers like that all day. The style is so pompous and annoying. It may seem intellectual superficially, but under scrutiny it really means nothing. It is nonsense.
The sound of machinery constantly blares outside my window. There is so much oppression here: cost, traffic, politics, population, culture, heat, and so on....At the moment, I am burdened by schoolwork and I have no joy. After being ill for a few weeks, I'm still trying to catch up. The professors don't care that I've been sick. They probably think I'm lying.
Indeed, this place is a nightmare. Literally, when I fall asleep at night I have nightmares -- glimpses of hideous demonic faces that awaken me instantly. They go away after fervent prayer....
Lately I have been waking up in the morning with a sense of sadness and lack of motivation. In the past, I would arise full of joy. Those days seem so distant now.