Clinging to God

Satan often attacks most viciously when God accomplishes something new. He goes after the new converts, and those embarking on an initiative to glorify God, for uprooting a sprout is far easier than uprooting a strong and established tree. Yet by clinging to God, we are not uprooted, and His work is unmoved.

A sad world

Do electronics numb the sadness of life with artificial sound, color, and light? Gadgets have really changed society. Now the world is a lonely place. People spend time with computers instead of each other, because computers are safe. They don't cry.

God's sustaining love

Wolves in sheep's clothing always talk about love, don't they? They lecture everyone about a saccharine, sappy, high fructose sort of love, yet their hearts are dark, cold, and empty. Real love is less flashy, and often less sweet, yet far more profound.

The truth is I am lonely. Though I am thankful for God's fellowship, I have no friends. Sometimes I long for connection, someone to talk to...yet I've never been popular. People aren't drawn to me.

Sometimes I hesitate to call God my Father, because I am so unworthy. "Are You still my Father?" I sometimes wonder, especially if I've made a mistake. Yet God reassured me...a father is always a father. Even my biological father, though he abandoned me, is still my father. That fact cannot change. Then how much more so shall God always be my spiritual Father? Abba doesn't change. He doesn't forsake.

Sleep is a portal to the spiritual realm

This morning I had a lucid out of body dream. This is the first time such a dream felt positive instead of negative. Leaving my body, I felt a strong buzzing vibration. Then I sensed a demonic force, but I prayed and it faded away. Then I felt pure peace, without any fear whatsoever, and I had white angel wings. Next, I flew through a beautiful, ethereal landscape, which deeply inspired me.

The vividness of that dream causes me to believe I visited the spiritual realm.

Imitation

Being imitated sure is annoying. How must God feel when Satan imitates Him, and leads people away with false light? Few are able to discern between true and false light. Yet an original is always superior to a copy.

Using God's name for one's own glory

The appearance of Christianity does not always reflect genuine worship of God. Many "Christians" are actually using God's name to worship themselves. Narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths are rampant these days, and many of them claim to be Christians in order to reinforce their superficial image of "perfection," though of course they are actually demonic.

Satan is the king of the children of pride, but God is the king of the humble.

Reflections on the fruit of the spirit

Joy runs deeper than happiness, deeper than a hypocritical smile.

Kindness is the quality I most treasure. Of all good qualities, I believe kindness is the one that really distinguishes Christians. Kindness is love in action...but it is rare, and it isn't respected.

Goodness is an inherent quality. As much as I strive to be a good person, I fail, because goodness is against my nature. Naturally, I am envious, selfish, and proud. Yet God is good, and He covers my sins. His quality of goodness shines through Christians' lives, imperfect as we are.

Faith is a virtue I've always struggled with, since I tend to be a skeptical person, but my faith has become stronger by seeing the ways God works in my life. His faithfulness strengthens mine. Another aspect of faithfulness is loyalty, a forgotten virtue in this age.

Gentleness is such a beautiful quality. Consider the charms of a gentle breeze...the gentle colors of dawn...or a gentle creature such as a dove. Gentleness goes hand in hand with kindness.

True and false love (again)

Beauty, talent, and passion are not as valuable as love. Evil often talks about love and attempts to imitate it, but true love doesn't show off. False love is flashy, sappy, and sickeningly sweet, like the fragrance of a poisonous plant attracting prey. True love is reflected in God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit.

Paradoxes

Experiencing illness and the death of loved ones will change a person.

Yet as I lose innocence, I hope to become even more innocent. As I experience sorrow, may I abound in joy more than ever before. As I feel weak, may I become strong.

The inescapable sadness of the world

As time passes, holidays become painful reminders of loved ones who are no longer here. This world is so chaotic, unpredictable, and sad. Even a life devoted to God contains a strange sadness. Indeed, sadness casts a shadow over everything in this fallen world.

Spiritual light

"This spiritual and divine light does not consist in any impression upon the mind, as though one saw anything with the bodily eyes. It is no imagination or idea of an outward light or glory, or any beauty of form or countenance, or a visible luster or brightness of any object. The imagination may be strongly impressed with such things; but this is not spiritual light. Indeed when the mind has a lively discovery of spiritual things, and is greatly affected by the power of divine light, it may and probably very commonly doth, much affect the imagination; so that impressions of an outward beauty or brightness may accompany those spiritual discoveries. But spiritual light is not that impression upon the imagination, but an exceedingly different thing. Natural men may have lively impressions on their imagination, and we cannot determine but that the devil, who transforms himself into an angel of light, may cause imaginations of an outward beauty, or visible glory, and of sounds and speeches, and other such things; but these are things of a vastly inferior nature to spiritual light." -Jonathan Edwards

Too often, I look at the outside rather than the inside. Though people are always judging each other, God allows me to be who I am without having to impress anyone. People may reject me, but I am accepted by God, and that is what matters.

Grad school woes

Lately I have been so stressed and frantic that when I finally have free time, I don't even know what to do. Have I forgotten how to relax? This place is so crazy, and sometimes I am caught up in its pace.

Yet God's pace is never frantic, for He is patient and wise. May I live by God's pace instead of the world's pace. Even in this environment, I pray for peace.

Oh, I am so tired of reading academic research. At work, I read papers like that all day. The style is so pompous and annoying. It may seem intellectual superficially, but under scrutiny it really means nothing. It is nonsense.

The sound of machinery constantly blares outside my window. There is so much oppression here: cost, traffic, politics, population, culture, heat, and so on....At the moment, I am burdened by schoolwork and I have no joy. After being ill for a few weeks, I'm still trying to catch up. The professors don't care that I've been sick. They probably think I'm lying.

Indeed, this place is a nightmare. Literally, when I fall asleep at night I have nightmares -- glimpses of hideous demonic faces that awaken me instantly. They go away after fervent prayer....

Lately I have been waking up in the morning with a sense of sadness and lack of motivation. In the past, I would arise full of joy. Those days seem so distant now.

Doom and gloom

There is an ominous feeling rising in people's hearts everywhere. Somehow, I suspect the United States will soon be finished. There is no dignity, no reverence for the sacred to be found here. God's judgement must soon follow.

For a long time I've been ashamed of this country. The future looks quite grim. Yet God holds the future in His hands, so there is no need to fear. He looks on from heaven and understands all that is happening.

A still, small voice

God is a personal God, so He speaks to us in different ways according to what we most need.

For me, God speaks as a wise and loving Father, because my earthly father abandoned me as a child.

Don't think you're unspiritual if God doesn't regularly speak to you through dreams and visions. Sometimes I have prophetic dreams and other supernatural experiences, but usually God simply speaks to my heart in a calm, kind, firm voice. He gently, yet decisively (and with a sense of humor) directs my path, providing advice and insight...the way a Father would.

Any form of communication from God is legitimate, and the more dramatic ways aren't superior.

The demons in them hate the Holy Spirit in me

At work I've been dealing with potent evil, the spiritual stench of rotten character. Coworkers hate me without cause. When they're present I feel miserable, and when they leave I suddenly feel peace.

These wicked bullies abuse me with snide remarks and gossip. And why am I despised? Because I simply do my work with a kind, polite attitude (and happen to be more attractive than they are)?

Most importantly, I am a Christian and they are not. If they knew God, they wouldn't be the way they are. They perceive the Holy Spirit in me, and that is who they really hate.

Yet if God is for me, who can be against me? God is on my side, and the world hated Him first. From what I have seen, when the world accepts someone eagerly, that is because the person belongs to the world. Those who belong to God are not of this world, and they are often rejected, ignored, and scorned....How often I have seen this happen!

The COVID-19 quaccine

From free donuts to lotteries, the government was desperate for us to inject this concoction into our bodies that was marketed as a COVID-19 vaccine. Despite supposedly reaching the initially stated goal of injecting 75% of the population, the goalposts were continually shifted; there were always new variants. How the vaccines were supposed to protect us from the variants, I still don't understand...but then again, COVID-19 and the miracle elixir played by a different set of rules from every other illness.

These products don't even fit the definition of a vaccine, which contains a little bit of a virus so that the immune system is able to create protective antibodies and fight against it. The COVID "vaccine" doesn't contain COVID, but nanobots that create spike proteins in the body. It is actually a type of gene therapy.

The ultimate aim of this experiment is still unclear. Many people have died as a direct result of taking the quaccine, so is depopulation the goal? But the majority of those who took it haven't had any adverse reactions...at least not yet. Time will tell....

Prayer for pride

God, You are the king of eternity, and I have submitted my life to You. Though the sin of pride continually rises in my soul like the spread of an infection, please cure this spiritual disease and remove all traces of pride from me, along with its symptoms arrogance, vanity, conceit, self-absorption, envy, rivalry, competition, and selfish ambition. May I be conformed to God's image rather than the world's image, and may I be transformed by the renewing of my mind.

May I perceive myself and my place in life with an accurate perspective. Give me commands, God, and I will follow without hesitation. Instead of longing for fame and status, may I be content with obscurity, working quietly in the shadows until You decide to reveal my work in the light. May I simply be who I am instead of trying to be someone I am not. By the grace of God I am who I am.

"Should I pursue a PhD?"

Perhaps, like me, you've been agonizing over that question for a long time. Perhaps you think a PhD will help you gain an advantage in this crazy economy. Maybe you'd like a ticket to the academic lottery. Or maybe you want to avoid the real world for awhile.

These are just a few reasons why people pursue PhDs, but what reason is good enough to justify another 3-10 years of schooling?

If you think I'm going to claim that fiery, passionate love for research is the only legitimate reason to go for a PhD, I actually think that is one of the worst reasons. Sure, passion is great, but major life decisions shouldn't solely be based upon feelings. The long, grueling, and often unfruitful work of a PhD program can make those feelings fade.

Deciding whether or not to do a PhD is a very personal decision, and my only advice is that before embarking on such a big commitment, be sure to have a clear plan and do a thorough cost-benefit analysis.

Trivial pursuits

There are three prevalent worldly concerns that many people waste their lives pursuing: fame, power, and money.

Unless one is willing to sell his or her soul, fame is tricky to obtain. Quality has no relation to popularity. Some of the shallowest people are famous, and some of the most brilliant are obscure. In fact, the more authentic a person is, the less likely it is that the world will accept him or her.

Many people seek power and influence by devoting themselves to careerism, doing anything to get ahead, but that path leads to a dead end; which is why there are many unfulfilled workaholics in the world.

Materialism -- the worship of money -- is a never ending spiral of unnecessary purchases, but the thrill of shopping provides only a temporary high.

What is a worthwhile pursuit, then? Love is the answer, of course. If you realize this, you are blessed.

Changes

God is changing my heart. There has been a shift that I cannot fully comprehend. He is bringing me beyond what I've ever known, into the unfamiliar and mysterious....

Satan imitates God's works, appearing as an angel of light, seeming beautiful and wonderful. To stay humble, I must remember that I am only human, and therefore fragile. Naturally, I am foolish and wicked. Any wisdom or goodness that I have is the grace of God working through me. May I, the instrument, never attempt to draw attention to myself and steal the glory that belongs to the Musician.

By faith, I continue to walk in this unfamiliar territory. The changes God creates in our hearts are eternal, never to be shaken. A good tree produces good fruit continuously.

Flat Earth theory

"People used to believe that the earth is flat" is a common argument meant to prove that modern society is much more advanced and intellectual than the foolish civilizations of the Dark Ages. Yet what's fascinating and disturbing is how weak the evidence actually is for Earth being a sphere (or "oblate" according to Neil deGrasse Tyson, despite images of a perfectly round ball) spinning through space. Growing up I was taught that Earth spins very slowly, which is why we can't feel it, but now children are taught that it orbits the sun at 66,600 mph, of all numbers. This information is provided by the pathological liars at NASA, and we trust their authority simply because we assume they are much smarter than we are.

But in the past few years, people have been catching onto NASA's Photoshop CGI fakery. If you look up photos of Earth and space, you will find that they are all CGI. NASA's photos of Earth look very different from those taken by Russian satellites.

NASA Photo

Russian Photo

All images of space are artists' renditions. Though I am not sure about the shape of Earth, this does make me pause. If NASA's description of the universe isn't true, then the theory of us all being a cosmic accident doesn't make sense.

True and false love contrasted

We must learn to live with loss in this broken world...because I still miss Tyson terribly. Tyson taught me what real love is. He is my Denarius, because he is worth more to me than all of the gold and silver in the world.

God has been teaching me about true love and fellowship, which isn't about merely being in the presence of others. There must be a deep spiritual connection. Though I have few friends, I have fellowship with God...the most important friendship of all.

There are indeed fake Christians. Christ Himself says so. Radical passion and zeal aren't really important. Authentic character is what really matters.

God promises to reveal the truth. For one who is walking in the light, there is no need to fear the truth. Psalm 37 reminds us not to envy the wicked, for their glory is only momentary.

Some of the wickedest people call themselves Christians. Yet God showed me, through the writings of Calvin, what distinguishes the false from true Christians -- and that is sincerity of heart. Calvin writes:

"Such is pure and genuine religion, namely, confidence in God coupled with serious fear -- fear, which both includes in it willing reverence, and brings along with it such legitimate worship as is prescribed by the law. And it ought to be more carefully considered that all men promiscuously do homage to God, but very few truly reverence Him. On all hands there is abundance of ostentatious ceremonies, but sincerity of heart is rare."

Also:

"But though experience testifies that a seed of religion is divinely sown in all, scarcely one in a hundred is found who cherishes it in his heart, and not one in whom it grows to maturity so far as it from yielding fruit in its season."

The beauty of nature

People need to see nature. No matter what health problems I experience, the sight of plants, animals, and the sky always brings me peace...the peace that reflects God's character. In contrast, the cruelty, ugliness, and frantic pace of the city reflects humanity's pride, rampant greed, and exploitation. Many people believe ignorance is our worst problem, and that we must make a better world through knowledge. But the real problem is our lack of innocence and love.

Overrated and underrated

UNDERRATED THINGS: Yucaipa, Peruvian food, Okami

OVERRATED THINGS: Trump, Starbucks, Hollywood

Clearly, some of the worst things are overrated, and some of the best are underrated.

Purchasing a house ought to be exciting, but instead is a drag because there are just too many people in California. As soon as something even slightly desirable becomes available -- a house, an item at the store, an open class at a university -- people clamor for it like ants swarming a piece of bread that fell on the ground. Because of this, accomplishing even mundane tasks requires miracles.

The beast system

Clearly, the people who run the world are possessed by demons. They're cannibals because demons feed on people. There's a massive worldwide organ harvesting operation going on now, and most of the victims are children. The guillotine agenda may have to do with setting up human meat farms in the future. During the tribulation, perhaps there will be slaughterhouses for those who refuse the mark of the beast. Not that those who take the mark will have a better time. They'll be tormented with grievous sores, then they'll go to hell for eternity.

Once I dreamed about a giant white tiger approaching me and a small group of people I was with. The creature was beautiful in a way, but I knew it intended to kill us. Then a man stepped forward and cut the tiger's throat, as well as a muscle in its shoulder to prevent it from walking. The great beast was rendered powerless.

Perhaps the tiger represents the beast system, which looks good superficially but has the intent to destroy...and the man represents Christ preventing the beast from harming His beloved.

Putting away childish things

As of late I feel like my creativity is waning...perhaps due to the cares of this world. Instead of inventing fantasies, I've directed most of my creative effort toward school and my career. Now my creativity seems to be focused outward rather than inward.

Also, my interest has shifted to nonfiction from fiction, which I loved as a child. Though I still enjoy fiction, my interest isn't as strong as before. Now I find myself drawn toward reading research papers, essays, tutorials, and such.

Maybe this isn't an issue. Every phase we go through in life has a purpose. Still, I don't want my imagination to weaken from lack of use.

Obsessional phases I've gone through include dark and gritty stories, anime and manga, Harry Potter, and Pokemon. Now my interests include Christianity, classic literature, and documentaries....Perhaps I simply grew up. Yet even as I put away childish things, I hope I don't lose my childlikeness.

Encouragement for the New Year

God's principles work. They're difficult to follow and we often feel like giving up, but we should still follow the truth. We need to trust the training God has given us. God commands us to discover and use our spiritual gifts to serve others and further His kingdom. Satan tries to distract Christians, to pull us out of the spiritual battle and make us ineffective. Lusts of the flesh are what we go after -- temporary pleasures.