Even after becoming a Christian, I experience seasons of almost debilitating depression. During those times, accomplishing even the most simple tasks requires me to rely on God's strength alone. Thankfully, these moods are lifted much more quickly than they used to be....Before becoming a Christian, I felt depressed about 99% of the time.
Holding onto eternal life, I realize that the spiritual journey is truly endless...and in a sense I am like a child, exploring every corner of creation with my best friend, anticipating every day as a new adventure.
By God's grace I haven't succumbed to the dreary mentality of the doldrums, though I easily could have. Perhaps I was going in that direction, but God took my hand and rescued me from the mire. At one time I believed adulthood meant tossing away frivolous thoughts, including daydreams, dreams for the future, interest in anything childish...and I felt ashamed of my dream to be an artist, so I tried to hide my childlike qualities. At that time I felt annoyance toward people who reveled in immaturity, telling myself I don't have that luxury, that I must grow up and stop being selfish and reach realistic goals.
There is truth to those thoughts, but there is a balance. Yes, growing up means becoming less selfish and unrealistic, but I don't have to butcher my soul to achieve that. Being an adult...responsible, diligent, and virtuous...with childlike characteristics such as imagination, humor, and innocence, is entirely possible.
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