Though I no longer struggle with anorexia, from time to time I come across journal entries I wrote during that time in my life and feel they're worth sharing, for anyone else who happens to be going through an anorexic phase:
Lord, thank You for never forsaking me. Now is one of those times I need You most. You know I am a sinner and a hypocrite...because in the past, I judged people with anorexia as simply selfish and narcissistic. Now I am a bit more understanding, since I'm struggling myself...though I still believe pride and a self-absorbed mindset definitely contribute. Lord, You know I am selfish and proud; change my heart....
The root of this affliction involves feeling unseen and unloved - starving for love, a common problem these days. This society is so isolating, and I have even been forsaken by most of my family. Since my personality is a bit offbeat, I have difficulty relating to others...so the most I can hope for is to be noticed from a distance, because others don't seem to be interested in loving me intimately.
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These days I have an entirely new set of problems that don't involve anorexia. Yet this entry serves as a reminder of God's grace, and the conviction not to be so quick to judge others. We don't know what battles they're fighting.
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